Currently Reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (Book 7) By J. K. Rowling see related

So, I am back from SMBC... I think the biggest thing I learnt was that I really want to show compassion like Jesus did.  I see people who are lost or hampered by something and I really want to love them.  The topic was "sin" and some other stuff and I confessed my faults to my campers and the reaction was loving and caring and trying to help.  One of my campers, Alex, told me that it helped him to know that I struggled with some of the same things with which he struggled.  I don't know when I ever laid my life so bare and left myself so vulnerable, but the guys in my cabin understood and did not tear me down, but let me know that they cared.  Sho nuff, as there always is, there were some bad things about the week, but they were overshadowed by the power that the Spirit had over the week and the lives that were changed.  I hope that I can live up to the standard that was set...

One of the girls in my youth group finally understood what I was trying to tell her, even though it came from a different source.  It was humbling and beautiful.  I guess part of me would like to be the answer to all the problems in the teens I work with and that God would choose me to work in their lives, but the hard part is for me to realize that I am not always going to be "that guy".  I realize I am closer to the age of the parents of the teens with whom I work than the age of teens themselves, but it is still humbling to know that I may not be able to influence them as much as people closer to their age.

The one who finally brought things to a level the girl in my youth group could understand was a guy her own age.  Her asked me if I could talk to him and he told her he needed to talk to me.  As I left to talk to him, I saw her voice the word "no" to me.  I was worried that she would reject anything that he said, just like she has ignored the things I have said to her, for her own good, but after he talked to her, she thanked me 3 times for helping him with what he had to say.  I know I have said the same words to her many times before, but it took a guy her own age to make her finally understand.

I know I am being nebulus, but I guess in my fantasies of being the perfect YM, I always see myself as being the one who says the magic word that touches the heart of my teens and causes them to turn from their sin and come back to the light, so I guess there is a kind of a let down when it takes someone else to do it.

I guess I need to trust that God will work even if I am not "the guy" and realize that His power does not need to flow through me in order to work.  I will still open myself to God to work through me, but I will have to understand that I may only be a small step in His plan.

I hope this makes sense.  I guess no one reads this mumbo jumbo anyway anymore, so it is just for me to verbalize to myself.  It makes me happy to see that one of "my teens" may be turning away from her sinful life and focusing in God, but there is still part of me that wonders why I could not be God's vessel.

Currently Reading The Two Towers: Being the Second Part of The Lord of the Rings By J.R.R. Tolkien see related

I went down to Fort Hill (aka da Hill) for the FHCYC Family Retreat, led by my good friend, Sniderman.  I was in charge of teaching the teens for the third year in a row.  Classes weren't too bad and I go to spend some time with a lot of people I don't see very much.  Snider and I had a long talk one night after everyone went to bed, which was very good, because he is an amazing person and I wanted to talk to him about the YM gig I have been doing and get some pearly wisdom from him.  I played a lot of volleyball, spades, and sat around in the sun a fair bit, and saw wonderful people from Xenia and the Mayes clan and met some new folks who weren't too bad either.

I kicked around the notion of going to Columbus for a Memorial Day shin-dig, but I was kind of tired and I did not think I would become less tired by going to Columbus for a few hours.  I drove home with only one intentionally nap, and a few of the shorter, scarier, while-driving kind of naps, but by comparison to some of my bleary-eyed nocturnal drives, this one was most uneventful.  I got home and went to bed around 5pm and woke the next day around 9am, so I guess I really was tired after all.

Now, it is tough to get back into the idea of working and stuff.  I need to write 2 papers, one of which just needs revision, but seeing as I thought it was perfect after the last time I revised it, I am ill-disposed toward it.  I have it practically memorized from revising it 87 times (hyperbole).  The other I need to get through all of its revisions by July 1, so I figure I need a draft soon-ish.  If I can get in gear and focus for a couple of days, I think I could hammer it out by this weekend, but the focus part is the hard part.

Anyway, I have Church tonight and a bonfire this weekend and I am preaching Sunday morning and night, so I figure I will have a pretty full plate.  I hope everyone is dandy (if anyone still reads this stuff)!

Currently Listening The Familiar By Roger Eno, Kate St. John "Our Man in Havana" see related

So, it has come to this...  I am blogging again.  Yeah, kind of bored today, at wurk, not really in a "doing stuff" kind of mood.  Oh, well.  I did get that job as a youth minister with the Brookston congregation.  It is cool.  Few of the teens have parents who attend Church, so it is very encouraging just to see that they come.  I have to preach 1-2 times a month, which is okay, I guess.  It is not really my cup'o'meat, but I reckon it can't hurt to get some practice at it.  I preached this last Sunday morning and night, and it went pretty well.  We had a congregational meeting and I had to sit there while they discussed how much they should pay me, which was, of course, awkward.  I tried to lighten the mood by suggesting that what they were proposing to pay me would barely cover my beer money, but in the end, they proposed a very decent salary, which will certainly cover my beer money!  It also looks like I will get paid by sermon (maybe) as well, which would be cool I guess.  It still feels weird getting paid to do God stuff.  I am planning on saving up the salary and using it to buy a new lap-top, which feels wrong too, but, I need a new lap-top...

My other job, you know, the one at Purdue, is going pretty well.  I spend most days sitting at a computer in our lab, listening to "All Songs Considered" (I am going to try to listen to every episode of the 7 years that it has been on the air) or watching "Heroes" reruns, whilst I write or procrastinate writing papers for my thesis.  Yesterday, I was thinking about it and I realized that I will probably get this degree after all (the PhD process oscillates between feelings of hopelessness and hopefulness).

Hmm... I went to Indiana Dunes National Park on Saturday.  It is amazing how blue the water is in Lake Erie.  It almost makes you forget about the toxic waste.  I saw some plants that we don't have here and a Karner blue butterfly, which is an endangered species.  I think it was the first time I saw an endangered species in the wild (if you don't count bald eagles, which, I don't).

I have been kicking around idears for a canoe trip sometime when it has rained a bit and warmed up again.... Maybe July....  If anyone has any suggestions, particularly for places close to Tippco, lemme know.

Shalom!

Currently Listening Riot on an Empty Street By Kings of Convenience "I'd rather dance with you" see related

I may be a youth minister soon.  Kind of weird.  I got a call on Friday from the YM at my Church (Lee) and he said there might be an opportunity to work with the youth group at a Church about 20 minutes away.  So, I went out there yesterday and hung out and met some of the youth and all that, and it looks like it may work out.  I will still be working on my PhD, of course, but this would be an additional thing.  I kind of feel weird about it.  I mean, I have never felt completely at home in my current Church, but I dig the youth group and some of the people at the Church.  On the other hand, I finished teaching class at Church in January, so most of my involvement with the youth group has been the Tuesday men's devo, which I will still do.  It is further away and the Church is small and services are earlier and I don't know anyone.  Anyway, I just feel kind of strange.  I should be excited or something, but I am just a little apprehensive.  Also, it is weird that could have the title "Minister", as in "Youth Minister", which seems to convey some idea of appropriate behavior and things like that.

On the other other hand, most (all?) of the youth at this Church are there even though there parents do not attend...  Which brings up a thousand other plusses and minuses.  Anyway, I have followed the path of least resistance on this'n, so, I figure I will keep with it, and if they want me, I will do it, and I know God will work through me and it should be great stuff.

Still feel apprehensive...

Well, I reckon all of my devoted readers are anxiously ancipating a recapitulation (that is the word for which "recap" is an abbreviation) of all of the enthralling experiences of my stimulating life as a graduate student.  Actually, there have been several noteworthy-ish things to happen, so I guess I will lay them on you:

1) My prelim was scheduled for the 13th of this month.  Purdue apparently hasn't cancelled classes in ten years.  2+2.  So, I am in limbo waiting for my committee members to let me know when we may have it rescheduled.  The first round of emails cancelled out the month following (I have a department head and an assistant dean of the grad school on my committee, along with my adviser who is frequently out of town, plus 2 other members, so scheduling anything is difficult).  Right now I need to hear back from one member and check available dates with another member and hopefully get something together this semester.

2) I chaperoned the youth trip to Gatlinberg, TN for Winterfest.  It was fun.  It snowed there too, of course.  We stayed in this ancient frayed building with possessed misandrist plumbing and an old-fashioned coke-bottle opener in the bathroom.  No other room in the building seemed to have a coke-bottle opener, so I reckon I was in the honeymoon suite.  The room was blazing hot when we got there, and it took some ingenuity to figure out that the way to turn off the heat was to turn off the air conditioner.  The hallway floors were uneven and the ceilings low, which gave the pedestrian feeling of intoxication, without all of the pleasant megalomania and increased attractiveness to the opposite sex.

Oh, yeah, the actual event.  It was swell.  We were at the late session, which effectively cuts out most free time and eliminates the possibility of seeing people we know, but oh, well.  The spiel was about getting the prize or something like that.  It was not as good as last year, but it was nigh tolerable.  I don't think it impacted our teens as much as last year, but we had 2 baptisms: one girl who just started coming to Elmwood and another guy who was a friend of a guy we picked up near Indy on the way down.  The girl has apparently been coming to Elmwood a fair bit.

3) Last Tuesday, I went to hear some dude talk about God and science and stuff.  He was the head of the Human Genome Project, so we have to allow some props for the people who are drawing us toward the Brave New World.  The arguments were many I had heard before and I did not agree with some of his stuff, but it was still a decent lecture.  I stuck around to get his autograph since apparently he is famous or something.  I still value my bible addition of the Guide signed by DNA more.  But then again, DNA is dead.

--SO that has been my life.  I am heading to Cow-town this weekend to attend a "Moby Dick" book party, which should be fun.  I was not too crazy about the book, but I read it nonetheless, so I might as well discuss it.  The rumor is that we will be reading something Russian next year, which is a relief after Melville.